Relationship Coaching/Counselling is so beneficial to those of us who really want our relationship to work but just can’t seem to agree on how this could happen.
We get together, fall in love, then we get married and it all seems so wonderful, then everyday life sinks in and we start trying to negotiate the stormy seas of expectations and differences in opinions. Didn’t we want the same things when we met?
Didn’t we always think that we would be on the same wave length? Why isn’t it still ok for us to walk different paths now?
How many of our relationships are suffering because we are going in different directions. We want different things, they expect far too much of us and to be honest we expect far too much from ourselves as well. Coaching can help us bring things back together. We need to focus on the things that we want instead of the things that we don’t want. To stop blaming each other and to realise that we can be as strong as we were in the beginning if we only stop and sort out our communication issues. This in itself can bring much needed clarity to what has usually become a very confusing time.
Every couple comes with at least a memory if not a residue of love and goodwill, usually more than they realise. Coaching will not take you step by step through all the issues that have brought you to the brink of divorce but rather sift through your history for the seeds of continuing possibility. This is the history that will support your future as a couple.
A great help to saving your relationship, is to have realistic, reasonable expectations and demands regarding yourself and your partner. If your expectations are irrational and unrealistic, you are likely to be disappointed and frustrated and unconsciously behave in a way that might lead to separation. It is so important to align your expectations with each other. We need to look at your values and beliefs – do they match. A lot can be explained just by looking at each individual’s definition of Love, Trust, Loyalty and Honesty – where do they differ and where does there need to be compromises? What do you each need and want from each other and from your relationship.
At the end of a Coaching session you are likely to be clearer about what you want and clearer about how close you are to achieving this. Over the following few weeks you should have a growing sense of what is possible. This will help you to build on success and to clarify further ways forward.
Many partnerships would be better if both parties clearly understood that they are on the same side Zig Ziglar
Member of The Association for IEMT Practitioners